A Birthday Never to Be

I've thought about writing this post for a few weeks now. I've thought and thought, but never really could reconcile in my heart why I would do it. I suppose today, I just feel like maybe someone needs to hear...

If things would have gone according to plan, if things would have worked out the way Aimee wanted them; I would be holding 2 babies right now, or at least would be very near holding them. The last week of April 2010, I miscarried twins. I was about 11 weeks along, so it was too early to know if they were boys or girls. They were identical, because one thing they were able to determine was that they were "mono" twins; meaning they shared a gestational sac. Unfortunately for them and for many babies in their situation, that doesn't give them the best odds of survival.

When I found that I was pregnant early in March, they gave me a due date of November 13th. I was so looking forward to a November baby! Just in time for my favorite season of Thanksgiving and Christmas - the perfect time to take a maternity leave. The situation was perfect, and other then the worst nausea EVER, I was doing well and happy.

Then my 11 week appointment came along. At the doctors office they couldn't determine what was going on, just that things on the ultrasound didn't look quite right, but "everything is probably fine." So, they sent me to the hospital for a better ultrasound with someone that was better trained. The ultrasound tech knew pretty immediately what was going on. She said "well, there are two babies...(5 second pause)...but neither of their hearts are beating."

It was quite a surreal experience to find out about the existence of someone in one breath, and know you had lost them in another. The night I found out about our loss, as I was getting ready for bed; I noticed the picture on my dresser. It is a picture of my G-Mom and G-Pop, my great grandparents. I never knew my G-Mom, but I had the privilege to know G-Pop until just a few short years ago when he went to join G-Mom in heaven. As I looked at their wedding picture that night, my mind saw a picture of heaven; G-Mom and G-Pop in rocking chairs, each holding one of our precious twins. In that moment, I knew they were fine, I knew God knew best and I knew we would be okay.

Fast forward a few months, and here I am; nearly 18 weeks pregnant. It's only one baby this time; we'll find out in a couple of weeks whether we'll need pink or blue. In all of the happiness over this new addition coming; I couldn't help but be preoccupied this week as I knew that our babies, under different circumstances would be arriving any time now. I am the last person to be able to tell you why some things happen. When I got in my van to leave the hospital that day, the only thing that came out of my mouth was "Jesus, I trust you." I am not a hero of the faith; not even close actually...there was just enough grace on that day for me to know that asking why would be infinitely more difficult than just simply trusting. That trust has helped heal my heart, and gives me hope for the future that one day we'll all be together again.

Family Experience

Last Friday night we tried a new event here at Bethel especially for families. The feedback has been fantastic, and seems like everyone had a great time! Our first Family Experience was basically a night for families to connect with each other, and with other families in our church. We did this through putting lots of fun stuff on the tables (Mad Gab cards, paper and crayons, mini connect four & tic tac toe games, popcorn, pretzels, glow sticks), had ice cream sundaes, played some Minute to Win It games, watched a couple of skits, watched a fun short video, and I took a few moments to explain to our parents that our church is committed to partnering with them as they raise their kids.

It was loads of fun fun, but like any first time event, we had some bumps in the road. We didn't plan for enough people, so we had to set out tables and chairs for an additional 40 people. I forgot to put out the whip cream for the ice cream sundaes. I didn't realize this until I laid down for bed that night! We had some difficulty with a video I wanted to show and had to cut it last minute. All of these things were temporary setbacks that we solved, and still had a great time.

Many of you asked if we would do this monthly, or even quarterly, and right now I'm looking at next year and putting a few on the calendar. Our team learned some things about what works and what doesn't...(the popcorn wasn't the best idea...most of it ended up on the floor!) We'll work through those bugs and try to make our next Family Experience truly an experience to remember for every family.

The Cheese Touch

Getting into what my kids are into is one of my biggest priorities. Madelyn (our oldest) will rattle of detail after detail after detail about the books she is reading, or the newest toy she saw on TV. Sometimes I can catch myself getting annoyed because she will talk for 10 minutes, taking me step by step through her latest favorite DS game.

So, I am well versed in Phineas & Ferb, Barbie & the 3 Musketeers, and most recently, Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

It just so happens, that a couple of weeks ago on a whim, Jason and I rented Diary of a Wimpy Kid to watch on a Friday night with the kids. We knew Maddie had read the books, but we just weren't sure if they would be into the movie. Well, they were. Big time! This movie is hilarious, and will take anyone back to the awkward middle school years in a flash. The funniest part of the whole movie to us, was the whole "Cheese Touch" thing. (Go watch it if you haven't seen it).

So yesterday, Madelyn and Elyse tell me after school that there is a real, live, Cheese Touch at Abraham Lincoln Elementary. Maddie says to me with HUGE eyes "Mommy! There is a piece of white cheese on the blacktop at school, and somebody touched it and now there is a cheese touch at OUR school!"

Okay, so maybe this is not a blog-worthy subject, but I find it hilarious. Because last night at church, the other kids at church that go to Abraham Lincoln already knew about the cheese touch. They were dying to find out if it would be there the next day, and who would be inflicted with the dreaded "touch." So funny.

The "New"

There is a lot of "new" happening. I have talked with a few parents lately that are experiencing new schedules, new schools, new teachers...the transition from elementary school to middle school, from middle school to high school. Or just like our kids - a new school because we moved into new school boundaries a few months ago.

Well, here's more "new" for ya! Sunday, we will be moving our sweet little Kindergartners out of Promiseland down to KidzBlast. This will be a big move for them. Exciting though! Then, I will sadly lose our 6th graders to our awesome new middle school ministry SHIFT_MS. Sad for me, only because I am promoting some completely amazing kids.

Last, we are launching a new opportunity for our 5th graders to be leaders in KidzBlast. Previously we have separated them with the 6th graders into a class for Pre-teens. Now, not only will we target them through all of the cool stuff we already do in KidzBlast, we will use them as a "Timothy Team" - a team of kids that will help with check in, sound, worship, skits, and just overall being there to serve. I was able to talk to these kids last Sunday about their new role in KidzBlast, and the response was awesome! They were so excited - I know God is going to use them in really cool ways this school year.

Everything is launching new this week - We kicked off Royal Rangers and Girls Club last night, as well as classes for our little ones. Junior Bible Quiz gets it's start this Sunday, and Children's Choir is about to start again too. I love the summer...LOVE IT. But right around the end of August, I'm all pumped up for what God is going to do in and through our kids during the Fall months. Let's embrace the "new" and see what God does!

Life Journaling

Pastor Tim has been preaching a series, entitled "Hungry? Feed Yourself." It's more than a sermon series though, it is a way of life. Obviously, we aren't talking about physical hunger. Pastor introduced us to a book several weeks ago called "The Divine Mentor" by Wayne Cordeiro. While this book teaches much, the part we are emphasizing to our congregation is a method of personal devotions. In this method, you have a Life Journal (NOT a diary!), and a reading plan. Then from there, you read the plan each day (or any other plan that you may currently be following), then you S.O.A.P. SOAP is just an acronym.

S. - Scripture

O.- Observation

A. - Application

P. - Prayer

In your Life Journal, you write down your Scripture, make an observation about it, write how it applies, then your prayer. I usually journal about a page in my journal, sometimes spilling over to two.

It doesn't take long, and the rewards are huge. First of all, just being in God's Word daily is such a benefit. Secondly, it is so great to know that I am reading along with dozens and dozens of people from my church family, the same passages.

The Word of God is our spiritual food. Without it, we literally starve ourselves. Pastor Tim said Sunday in his message, that if Sunday is the only spiritual meal you are getting each week, you are starving! Imagine just eating food once a week. This seems ridiculous to most of us, but so many of us are starving ourselves spiritually.

It has been challenging to dive into this new method of devotions, because it has pushed me a little bit. I have gotten so much out of it. Parents, they even make Life Journals for your kids! It has a simplified reading plan, and place for them to journal their SOAP. So many of the Bethel Family are already doing this; I just wanted to encourage everyone to get on board. It will make a difference in your life!

The Business of Myth Busting

For the last 5 weeks in KidzBlast we have been going through a series called Mythbusters. We bust silly myths like "If you step on a crack, you'll break your mamma's back," and "If you swallow gum it stays in your stomach for 7 years." That part has been really fun, but we have been busting some spiritual myths as well. Yesterday, we busted the myth that "God is too busy to help me." We did some fun and crazy stuff leading up to the message, but as I got into the story of Jairus' daughter, and tied that too other miracles Jesus performed, the kids had focus like never before. Something about the story, about the subject, and about the foundations we had laid through silly games, skits and videos caught their attention yesterday. We normally break into small groups after the message, but I felt that we just needed to have them come forward for prayer; so that's what we did. Most of the kids came forward, and I saw something I had really never seen in KidzBlast before....distractions left, friendships were on hold, and a group of kids focused on Jesus and prayed.

I was overwhelmed by God's goodness in that moment, also overwhelmed to see my own two girls come forward and seek God. But I think that what I felt most of all, surprised me. It was an appreciation for God's faithfulness. I always spend time in preparation and prayer for KidzBlast, but this week I felt more of a need to pray, and more need to spend time on the delivery of my message. The result? God was faithful. He showed up big time.

Let's be honest. Sometimes kids just don't get it. They haven't learned yet what it feels like to be in the presence of their God. They aren't quite in tune with His Spirit. But yesterday was different. I'm praying for many many more of these Sunday mornings.

Royal Family Kids Camp

Last week I spent my week at Royal Family Kids Camp. If you are not familiar, Royal Family is a camp designed specially for kids that are currently in the foster care system. They come up to the camp for 5 days, packed full of activities, swimming, games, fun, music and bible story times.

Foster care, you could say, has been a reoccurring theme throughout my life. My parents were foster parents before I was born, and actively took kids into their home until about 12 years ago. Three kids stuck, and they are now my siblings, having been with us since they were infants. A few years ago, I had the privilege of working for a foster care agency in Kansas were I assisted a social worker in case management of foster and adoption cases. Now, I am blessed to be able to minister at Royal Family Kids Camp. I know that God has placed these experiencing in my life for a reason. It definitely has given me different perspective on these very special kids.

I caught myself standing back and observing a lot last week at camp. Observing the kids behaviors, their mannerisms, their interaction with the other kids and with their counselors. My heart was heavy all week, knowing that these kids have experienced things that no child should ever experience. I did, however, see transformations in the kids just over a 5 day period. I saw bright smiles replace skeptical looks, I saw scowls replaced by laughter. I saw introverted kids make amazing connections with their counselors.

There are 52 weeks in each year, and I know that for a lot of these kids, 51 of those weeks are pretty close to a living nightmare. I also know though that for one week each year, we can give those kids a refuge, a place to be a kid - to run, play, swim, create, and make a friend with an adult that loves them just because.

I am already looking forward to next year. Until then, I'll just be praying for each of the 32 kids that I met this summer.