Dealing With Bad Habits

Our kids are getting older, and we have come to the point where we see some bad habits emerging.  About two years ago when my oldest two girls were seven and eight,  I started to realize that I still did a lot for them that other kids were doing for themselves.  Just daily things that they were more than capable of doing for themselves.

Just a few months ago, I noticed a pattern though.  One of them was constantly coming down dressed for school in wrinkled clothes.  After some investigating, I realized that when I gave over the job to them of folding and putting away their laundry, over time they had gotten less and less careful and had begun shoving armfuls of clothes, unfolded into their drawers.  Hence the wrinkles.  I had to go back, reteach them how to put away clothes, helping them to break a bad habit.

One of my kids has been struggling with the habit of nail biting.  She's been doing it for a long time, and the extent of our intervention to this point is, "Hey, ________, stop biting your nails!"  She smiles, nods her head as if to say "got it, Mom" and stops for a few minutes.  We realized though, that her nails were painfully short, and the habit was pretty out of hand.

My awesome sister-in-law who is living with us for a time came up with a solution.  We talked about the yucky stuff you paint on your nails or other methods I have heard about.  In the end though, we knew that this particular kiddo would not respond well to that method.  So, Candice took another angle.  (It helped that the solution did not come from Mom or Dad).  Candice told her that if she grew her nails to her finger tips, she would take her for a girls day and get manicures.  Seriously, that's all it took.  That was about 8 or 9 days ago, and every day our daughter shows us noticeable growth, and it so impressed that Mom was right, and her nails actually have grown quickly.

It won't be long before she's kicked this habit and will proudly show off her new, manicured nails.  All it took was:

1) Recognizing the bad habit
2) Coming up with a solution to breaking the habit that was unique to her personality
3) Providing incentive to break the habit

It's not rocket science, but if we as parents deal with the small, seemingly "harmless" habits now, they won't struggle with them later as adults.  Do you have a good method of dealing with your kids habits?  Leave me a comment and let others learn from you as well!

Obedience

This month in Clubhouse Live! (our weekend service for elementary schoolers) we have been talking about Obedience.  In fact, our Main Points a couple of weeks ago were simply "I Obey God Because I Trust Him," and "I Obey God Because I Love Him."  We made these concepts really easy for your kids to grasp.  There are times when I think it is conveyed to kids unintentionally that "We Obey God Because He is God."  True, maybe?  And while this is probably true to some degree, sometimes we have to break it down a little for our kids.

For instance, on Mother's Day, "I Obey God Because I Trust Him," was our main point.  We talked about how we obey our Mother's because we love them, so why should it be any different with God?  I am hoping that our AFA kids are growing from these teachings, but I always aim to grow myself as I teach kids.

Two weeks ago we attended our annual Network Summit in Salem.  I was really looking forward to the lineup of speakers, and I learned a lot.  While it's easy to just take notes like crazy and have almost none of it sink in, there were a few nuggets that I gleaned from a couple of sessions.  One had to do with obedience.

One of the speakers was Larry Osborne, Pastor of North Coast Church.  He taught a session on discipleship, and I can honestly say, it was nothing like I thought it would be.  Here is his first point:

"Never forget that the ultimate mark of a disciple is  obedience to what we know."

 He said also that "obedience is simple" and that we need to "keep walking the path in front of you doing what you know (is right)."  As I thought through these statements, I realized how simplistic they are, but how sometimes I over complicate things and end result: I fail at the obedience thing.

Think about it:  each day I wake up and ask God before my feet hit the floor, "God, help me to walk the path in front of me and do what I know is right."  I have been living this out the last couple of weeks to the best of my ability.  It has enabled me to obey in some small ways that I really hadn't viewed as disobedience until I really looked that them in their right context.

God has a way every once in awhile of paralleling my Sunday Kids' teachings with what he is teaching me personally.  It's allowed me to walk a biblical path with my kids, knowing that on two very different levels, God is teaching us the same things.

10 Reasons Why Your Kids Need to Come to Discovery Club

Hey AFA parents.  I have noticed a trend at our Wednesday night program, Discovery Club.  Last night, about 1/2 of all the kids were kids who do not attend our Sunday services.  While I looked around and thought it was pretty awesome that several of those kids are unchurched friends of our AFA kids, I realized that there is a trend that works both ways...we have lots of kids that attend Sunday that don't attend Wednesday and vice versa.

Discovery Club is a program that is designed to reinforce the Biblical truths we teach on Sundays, while taking time to teach the kids on hobby or skill a month.  There is ample time each night for relationship building, snacks and just plain fun.

Today I thought I would give those of you whose kids come Sundays but don't come on Wednesdays, 10 Reasons Why Your Kids Need to Come to Discovery Club.  Here they are in no particular order.

1) It will free you up to attend one of several classes offered to help you grow in your relationship with Christ.

2) Your kids will make tons of new relationships with other kids.

3) Your kids will connect with other adults who are genuinely invested in your child's spiritual development.

4) Your kids will learn new hobbies and skills each month that they may not otherwise be exposed to.

5)  Wednesday nights build a bridge between Sunday and Sunday.  We review key verses & main points, and retell the Bible stories in new, creative ways.

6) We emphasize FUN.  The games are crazier, the music is louder & the atmosphere more relaxed than Sunday.  This makes Wednesdays super appealing to bring friends to.

7) We keep track of things like wearing their DC shirt, bringing offering & friends, and even if they bring their Bible.  This helps them earn points they can spend each month on fun prizes.

8) Discovery Club is way more fun & meaningful to your child's development than sports are (Ouch.  Did I step on your toes?  No offense intended, I promise).

9) Your child will grow spiritually.

10) Discovery Club serves as a program that branches into other events, like our upcoming Family Grand Prix (more info soon) and our annual Camp In & Sleepover.

So what do you think? If you don't already attend regularly, please consider doing so.  I would love to see your kids each Wednesday at Discovery Club!

5 Months In

We are all five months in to a new year.  About this time, I start to feel like "new" is not really an adjective that I can associate with a year...after all, it's almost half over, right?

I took a quick look this week at how I am doing with my personal goals for the year.  I purposely only set two big goals - the others where small, but very measurable.  I am doing well with those.

My big goals though...well, I classify them as big because while they are measurable, they are harder for me to accomplish.  Here they are:

1.  Run a 5K this year.
Now, when I say run a 5K, I don't mean choose a race to enter, run it, and sit back with satisfaction at what I have accomplished.  My goal here was physical fitness, and to consistently run over 3 miles 2-3 times a week.  I won't rule out actually entering and running a race, but I want this to be more than just an end goal.  Make sense?  So how am I doing?  I would give myself a 3 on a scale of 1-5.  I run, on average 3 times a week.  I haven't made it up to my distance goal yet, but running is much easier than it was 3 months ago.

2.  Re-vamp my blog and post 2-3 posts a week.
Obviously this is just now happening.  The 2-3 times a week thing is still something I have to work towards, but I have spent time this week re-doing the look of everything, adding some info, giving direction and purpose to my blog. I hope you'll come back often to see what's up around here.

So how are you doing with the goals you set for yourself in 2012?

My Papa and My Jesus

Tonight I am flying with Norah to North Carolina for my Papa Salazar's Memorial Service.

I am 34.  I am 34 and until March 17th I had all four of my grandparents.  I don't think it's very common to make it that far in life without experiencing a death in the immediate family, and it's something that I am very grateful for.  I have to say though, that experiencing the loss of my Grandpa has been different than I thought it would be.  Of course there is sadness.  I expected that.  Of course there is a deep sense of loss.  I expected that too.

What I didn't necessarily expect was the overwhelming comfort I would feel the minute I heard the news. Yes I am a Christian, and yes I have always believed what the Bible tells us about where we go when we die.  The problem is, I am analytical...a thinker.  I have been afraid for a long time that when faced with death, I would react analytically.  Here's a confession that may seem strange coming from a lifelong Christ Follower and a Pastor -  In the moment I knew Papa was in Heaven, it suddenly became very real...not just a place we hear about, but a place that is a reality to me.  I may be late to the party on that one, but it just took losing someone close to really grasp it.

I have to tell you that there was such a feeling of peace as I imagined my Papa walking around in heaven - greeting relatives that had gone before, experiencing a wholeness in his body he hasn't had in a long time.  The greatest thought of all was him meeting Jesus.  I don't think I have met anyone in my life who has loved Jesus more than Papa - The One he rose early each day to meet in his prayer closet, the one who he read and studied about, the one who he told everyone who would listen about. His Jesus.

That thought alone, though tinged with sadness, is what makes looking forward to heaven so sweet.  Not just the fact that I will see Papa again, or other relatives I knew and loved, or even our twin babies that are there.  It's the fact that one day I will stand face to face with Jesus, the one who loves me and you, more than anyone else.

My Favorite Team

Have you ever been apart of a really great team?  It's a great feeling to know that you have quality people surrounding you that you can count on.

I've been on some outstanding teams in my life.  Some of them were sports teams -

• The basketball team I played on at Manteca Christian School in 6th grade -awesome team.  
• My varsity volleyball team my last year of high school; we were stopped at regionals by a bigger and better team, but what a great group of girls.  

Some where not sports teams -

• Vocal Showcase - a choir, but still a team; and a talented one at that.   
• Crossfire - a drama ministry team in college that was very instrumental in me stepping into youth ministry.

This morning I woke up extra thankful for the best team yet!  My Children's Ministry Team at Albany First.  Yesterday was a big day for our church.  We publicly launched two distinct worship experiences, and advertised a ton in our community.  We had to be ready for guests, and specific to my area, "little" guests!  So...part of the team led by our amazing Stephanie Gutierrez worked HOURS on Saturday to add touches and details to every room to make our kid's experience the best.  Not only did she spend hours on that, she thoughtfully planned out an area for the rest of our team to kick back and refuel before, between, and after services.  Coffee, tea, donuts and a comfy couch told our leaders that they were appreciated!

We had other team members that came early sporting their Clubhouse shirt, hung out in our main lobby and greeted guests; offering to show them to our kid's area.  We also had extra teachers and helpers come and provide extra staff so that we were prepared for more kids.  I can't tell you how many times I had a team member rush through the doors and ask someone what they needed help with.

I have heard all of my life that phrase "There is no "I" in Team."  While I've seen talented players and people carry their teams to victory, truly that phrase could not be more true for our Children's Ministry Team at AFA.  Everyone jumped in yesterday and gave their all and did a fantastic job of showing our guests how glad we were that they chose to join us.  Thanks Team!  I am blessed to work alongside you, and let me assure you - the best is still ahead!

Give Thanks in all Circumstances

It's February, so why am I posting a blog that sounds like it should be in November?  God has been speaking to my heart for a couple of years (yes, years) about something, and I was reminded today in my time in the Word about how close he is keeping this to my heart.  Here is the passage that jumped out at me today:

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I have not endured in my life anything remarkably tragic.  I have not experienced the loss of a parent, close friend or even grandparent to date.  I have experienced heartache in various forms, and hard times.  I am reminded though today as things creep up, whether they be personal trials or ministry challenges, that I am to be joyful, praying and giving thanks in all things.

Daily I seem to gain perspective on this, and I believe it is just a lesson God is teaching me.  It started a couple of years ago when a close friend experienced a very difficult time in their family; the diagnosis of illness in their mother that would mean long term hospitalization and a grim outlook on her future health.  At the same time Jason was laid off from a job and we experienced some very challenging financial circumstances.  Through this situation with our friend, God showed me how minor our financial issues were; and completely changed my perspective on life and thankfulness.

Small lessons along the way have kept this lesson in front of me.  Currently, I am following the story of a "friend of a friend" on Facebook that has a baby the same age as Norah.  Hospitalization, procedures, heart wrenching circumstances...and I look every day at the face of my very healthy, happy 10 month old Norah Grace and am so thankful.  It heightens my awareness daily that anything that I face could be much worse; and most of what I feel anxiety over will be forgotten within the week or month.  It has caused me to pray for others whether I know them or not; and to be thankful for all things in my own life.

These lessons that God is teaching me, I believe are something that have changed my outlook on life forever.  It changes the way I see my family and ministry.  Today I was just reminded through scripture, and felt like sharing with my friends. :)